So a few posts ago I told you I would write about your stay in the NICU. Your mom is way behind on these things, but I'm trying to catch up! How I wish I had written everything down back then, because it's been a year and a half now. I remember after they'd taken you to the NICU they told me I had to stay in bed until a certain time (I believe it was 2 hours). And I had to be able to get up on my own and transfer to the wheel chair. While I was lying in bed I was so so thirsty! I just wanted more to drink! They let me take sips and then brought me a jello cup. Slowly the numbness began to wear off in my legs. And then it was the two hour mark and I immediately asked to go see you. I was able to get up into the wheel chair, and they let dad wheel me down. When I saw you you were hooked to all kinds of wires. You had a very big mask on your face, it almost covered the whole thing. I remember the very first thing I noticed about you was your cutest little chin, because you had the smallest dimple in it! That little dimple was from my side of the family and I was so excited!!! I remember being so frustrated because I couldn't really see you at all through that mask. But you were just so so tiny, and you had a lot of dark hair. I just wanted to hold you !!! They told me I couldn't quite yet. I wasn't able to hold you until the next day (which is actually way sooner than some that have premature babies). I felt bad for the NICU nurse because I got sick and threw up in the trash can in your room. LOL. But after that I felt great! And I just sat and talked to you and was just amazed by your strong little body!!! I was instantly in love with you! The bond between a mom and her precious new baby is really indescribable, and the thing is, it gets even stronger as you grow! It's truly amazing how much love a person can hold! I remember when Braylee was a little girl and I was expecting Madden, I was so worried. I just didn't understand how I could love anything else as much as I loved my sweet little girl. But then Madden came along and not only did I still love Bray with my whole soul, but I now loved this little boy with my whole soul! And then Emily, and now you!! Love is an amazing thing!! Like your dad said the other day, it's the only thing that grows bigger as you give it away. I sat with you for a while and then decided to try and get a little rest. I came back first thing in the morning. This is the day I was able to hold you!!! My precious baby girl!! You were just perfect!! I spent almost every single second in the NICU until I was discharged. I remember when they put you under the bili light, I wasn't able to hold you all the time and that was hard. It was so dang hard when they discharged me and I had to leave. That is truly one of the hardest things! I just had to remind myself that you were where you needed to be in order to come home to me healthy and strong.
I was so grateful your dad was able to take some time off work and that Grandma and Grandpa P were here to help. I would get the kids up each morning and send them to school. Play with Ems for a little bit and then head up to see you. In the afternoon your dad would come be with you, and then after dinner I'd go back until late at night. I will NEVER EVER forget those moments holding you in the NICU. In a way it was a very spiritual experience. As much as I hated for you to be there, I also LOVED going there to see you. I was able to just sit and hold you. Just hold you in the peace and quiet, just you and I. And that was it!! I would hold you for hours and it truly was just such a special experience. I could have held you forever every single day! If you had been home I would not have gotten as much time to just sit and hold you because I would be doing lots of other things as well. So that to me was a very amazing thing. Leaving you was so hard but I would not have given up those moments for the world!! I remember each time I went in I would just snuggle you, but pretty soon they wanted you to try and nurse. (probably after about a week or maybe two of you being there). So then every time I came in I'd talk to you and then I'd change your diaper. That woke you up every time!! While you were wide awake we'd try to get you to nurse. Once you caught on, you just took off!!! The lactation specialist was a little Hispanic lady and she was just an angel. She was so kind! After you nursed you'd fall asleep and then I'd just sit and rock you and snuggle you. I remember the alarms used to go off a lot because it just wasn't hooked well or you'd move and it wouldn't be reading well. It was so nice when you came home and I got to snuggle you with no monitors. You and I made a lot of friends at the NICU. The nurses just loved you! They were all wonderful!! I knew you were in very good hands!
The week before you came home Grandma Beck came to help. She would come up with me during the day and we'd take turns snuggling you. The doctor set a certain weight goal for you and said if you met that goal he'd discharge you in the morning. Well you met that goal !!! And we asked him if there was any way you could come home that night because your Grandma and Aunt would be leaving the next morning and they were just dying to have you home! He decided that would be ok, and we FINALLY got to take you home!!!! After 23 days! The nurse who discharged us was Kris and she was very sweet. When we got home you were immediately bombarded by three little kiddos who had been dying to meet you !!!!! And they haven't left you alone since!!! You truly kinda just glued our family all together !! We are all just so in love with you !!! Every single one of us!!!! We love you so so much !!!!
So now, fast forward to the day I'm typing this... You are 16 months, !!!!! I can't even believe it Molls!!!! Like I seriously held back tears writing this!! I can't believe how fast it goes!!! I just can't!! You are SO MUCH FUN right now!!!!! Like you keep us all laughing ALL THE TIME!!!!!! You are the cutest, sassiest, busiest, most curious girl ever!!!!You area all over the place, like ALL OVER!!! You just never stop. You just wander around pulling things out of cupboards, off shelves, out of baskets, etc. You LOVE to read!! You are constantly bringing me books and just plopping on my lap, you'd sit for hours and read. You are really starting to understand things, you can follow simple instructions. You and Max have a love hate relationship. You are just Max's size so he can easily grab food from you and you get so mad. But you also get into stuff all the time and bring it to Max, then Max usually chews it up lol. The other night I was just trying to wrap Madden's birthday presents and you pulled all the sandwich bags out and Max scattered them all around the house. You two did the same with the straws and tupperwear and everything under the kitchen sink LOL!!! You're just so darn busy, but your so adorable!!!! I can't even get mad!!! The back of your hair is really pretty curly, especially when it's humid. And I love your little pony tail you have on the top of your head! You LOVE bath time!!! All I have to do is say the word bath and you run as fast as you can to the bathroom and stand right next to the tub. I never want to forget your little run, especially when you are only in your little diaper!! It's by far the cutest thing in the world!!! Just today you learned to climb up on the kitchen chair!! You are a climber!!! Braylee was a climber and oh man!!! She was crazy and I think you aren't far behind her !!! You can say so many words!!! You say hi, by by, ba ba (bottle), bird, shoe, ho ho ho, E I E I O, shake your head no, and nod yes. You are FINALLY starting to sleep a little better. It is about 50/50 right now whether you wake up or not. And if you wake up it's usually only once. You love to be outside!!! You get so mad when the kids get to go in and out but mom isn't able to take you out. You LOVE the trampoline!!!
I could go on and on about you my sweet girl!!!! I keep saying how each stage you enter is my favorite, but the truth is I can't pick a favorite stage!!!! Every single stage has something so fun and so amazing about it!!!! I just wish you would slow down!!! You're growing so fast!!!! How privileged I am to be the one to witness it!!! I don't know what I did to deserve this honor, but I want you to know I truly cherish it!!! You are the most amazing little girl and I just love you so so much !!!!
